Iria II: Episode 2 - The Missing/Pirate Response Guide

• Bold for initial known insults and retorts
• I for has the insult
• R for has the Retort
• X for can't retort.

Insult	Retort	Flail	Calico Jack	Barbados	Blackbeard	Black Bart	El Draco
You're already dead.	What are you? The fist of the wimp star?						I/X
	You did that when you opened your mouth.
Be careful, you don't want to wake the dragon.	Dragon? More like a salamander.						I
I've eaten boogers bigger than you!	You eat boogers? Gross!	R	R	R	R	I/X	I/R
I thought I smelled old cheese…	That was just your breath. You should brush your teeth.	R	R	R	I/X	R	R
This is where your luck runs out.	That's not what me rabbit's foot says!	R	R	I/X	R	X	I/R
You can't think yer a match for me!	I know you're a little below my level, but I'm willing to let you try.	I/X	R	R	X	R	R
The eyepatch is a mark of a great pirate!	The only pirates that wear eyepatches are the slow ones.	R	I/X	X	R	R	I/R
Any last words? My sword would like to hear them.	You're an idiot. Swords don't have ears.	X	X	R	X	X	I/X
If I knew they'd let a wimp like you be a pirate, I woulda joined the circus.	It's a shame, you've really got the face to be a clown.	R	R	X	R	I/R	R
My glare is enough to defeat you, guppy!	Is that a glare? Your eyes are barely open!	R	R	R	I/X	R	R
It's time ya got a look at a true pirate.	Oh yeah? Where is he?	X	R	R	R	X	R
Back down now and I won't kill ya.	I never back down.	R	R	I/X	R	R	I/R
I'm faster than the wind.	More like a gentle breeze	R	R	I/R	R	X	I/R
I may look weak but I have my tricks!	Tricks are for kids! Strength is all that matters	I/X	R	R	X	R	R
Do ya hear them cheering on their leader? That's me!	Laughing at you isn't the same thing as cheering.	I/R	X	X	R	R	X
Bartender! Get me a drink! I can't look at this ugly mug sober.	Is that what you say to the mirror every morning?	R	I/X	X	R	R	I/R
You can't outwit me, I'm brilliant!	So is a light bulb, but I turn those off all the time	R	I/X	R	X	R	I/R
Are my taunts making you hot under the collar?	Not at all. I'm cooler than a sea cucumber.	X	X	X	I/X	R	I/R
I read your mind. You're terrified!	What am I thinkin now, then? Hint: It's about how dumb you sound.	X	X	I/X	R	X	I/R
It's not over unti it's over	It's over when I say it's over.	I/X	X	R	X	X	R
This'll be over before you can blink.	I just blinked. Look I did it again.	R	I/X	X	X	X	I/R
Call my name and I appear	Sillyface McPoopdeck, I summon thee!	R	X	R	I/R	R	I/R
This is easier than shooting minnows with a cannon.	Everything is easier than that. Minnows are small and difficult to hit!	R	X	R	I/X	R	I/R
Work hard, and ya might be half as good a pirate as I am.	How much is half of not very good?	X	R	R	I/X	R	I/R
Yer all talk!	And yer all stupid!	R	R	I/X	R	R	I/R
You're all looks.	You're all ugly.	R	X	I/R	X	R	I/R
You're lookin' pretty fluffy, landlubber!	I'm perfect just the way I am!	X	R	I/R	R	X	I/R
I could beat you with my eyes closed	Let's test that out. I have a blindfold right here.	I/X	R	R	R	R	I/R
Without confidence, you're nothing.	I am confident that I am something	I/X	R	R	R	X	I/R
Watch out! I've got you in my sights.	Lucky me, you're blind as an angler fish	X	I/R	R	R	X	I/R
It doesn't take much to make me look great!	You're right. Just put a bag over your head. Much better!	R	I/X	R	R	X	R
I've never lost a fight.	There's a first time for everything!	R	X	R	R	I/R	I/R
You've got a tough face to look at.	I know, it's difficult to confront such beauty every day	R	I/R	X	X	X	I/R
Hey, ready to have some fun?	I came for a fight. Have fun on your own time.	X	R	X	X	I/X
I'm handsome enough to be famous	If only you didn't have that rotten personality.	R	X	R	R	I/R	I/R
There's no pirate braver than I!	That's because brave pirates don't live long.	R	R	X	R	I/R	R
Lemme show you what fear looks like.	No need. I got a good look the moment you decided to fight me.	X	R	R	X	I/R	R
Aiming for my face? You must be feeling brave.	I was just trying to fix it up, what a mess.	X	X	X	X	X	I/R
I'll shock ya into submission!	Try it. I'm wearing rubber boots.	X	X	X	X	X	I/R
That's not a sword! That's scrap metal!	Really? I got it from your bag.						I/R
Let me show you my power.	I've got more power than you in my pinky finger.						I/R
You should go while I'm feeling merciful.	Mercy's just another word for chicken.						I/R
Ya dance around like a monkey ya fight!	That never stopped the Monkey King!						I/R
I could take ya on with a belly full of rum.	Looks like you've already had too many bellies full of rum as it is.	I/X	R		R		I/R
You should feel honored to see me fight.	I feel a lot of revulsion right now. Is that close enough?						I/R
You'll be spilling tears before you're spilling blood	I'll be spilling my lunch if you keep using those cheesy lines.						I/R
	Ya got me, but I'm not given' up!
	That attack!
	I can't believe this!
	Argh...
	You're quite strong.
	Ugh, I can't fall now!
	Ack! I-I can't...