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automatic status implementation
Compromised does not mean going down. Compromised means hacked.
Having the script hosted on the wiki would be fine too, assuming IJ or another admin was interested in having it there. IJ has been pretty busy though. It would still be load-sensitive too, as the wiki load would make everything on the server slow. I'm guessing they would also be uncomfortable putting a script on the server without reviewing it first.
I think your issues with a bot are somewhat overblown, perhaps because we envision different solutions, but put that aside for now. I would like to see your source, if you don't mind.